How to Write a Song That Doesn't Sound Like It Was Written by Your Cat
So, you've decided to write a song. Congratulations! You're about to embark on a journey filled with more highs and lows than a soap opera marathon at your grandma's house. Fear not, dear musical adventurer, for I am here to guide you through the treacherous waters of songwriting with tips so practical, even your cat will stop judging you from across the room (no promises, though).
1. Embrace Your Inner Weirdo
First things first: the best songs come from those who dare to be different. Think about it. Do you really think Queen was sitting around, sipping tea, and pondering, "How can we make a song that sounds exactly like everything else on the radio?" No! They gave us "Bohemian Rhapsody," a tune that's more rollercoaster than song, proving once and for all that normal is just a setting on the dryer.
2. The Art of Eavesdropping
Great songwriters are not just musicians; they're spies in the world of human emotion. Your next hit could be hiding in the overheard conversation between two strangers discussing the price of avocados at the grocery store. "But avocados are just fruit," you say? Wrong. They're the metaphorical goldmine of songwriting material. Next time you're out and about, keep your ears open. Just maybe not so open that people start to notice.
3. RhymeZone is Your New Best Friend
Stuck trying to find a word that rhymes with "orange"? Spoiler alert: there isn't one. But for all other rhyme-related dilemmas, RhymeZone.com is your knight in shining armor. It's like having a dictionary, but cooler and with a better sense of humor.
4. Write Drunk, Edit Sober
No, I'm not suggesting you dive into your liquor cabinet at 10 a.m. (unless it's a Saturday, and you have absolutely no other plans). This timeless piece of advice simply means to let your creativity flow without judgment during the initial writing phase. Then, once you've sobered up from your creative high, you can look back and decide if "I love you like a love song, baby" is really the lyrical masterpiece you thought it was at 2 a.m.
5. The Chorus: Because Repetition is Catchy
The chorus is the heart of your song, the part that everyone remembers and drunkenly sings at karaoke. It should be like that one friend who always repeats their stories: slightly annoying but impossible to forget. Make sure your chorus hits harder than my mom's flip-flop used to when I didn't clean my room.
6. Breakups: The Gift That Keeps on Giving
Taylor Swift made an empire out of them, Ed Sheeran turned them into ginger-flavored gold, and Adele... well, Adele just makes us all want to sit in the dark and cry about it. The point is, heartbreak is the universal seasoning of songwriting. Sprinkle a little on your song, and watch as the world cries along with you.
7. When In Doubt, Add Cowbell
Feeling like your song is missing something? It's probably cowbell. Don't question it. Just add more cowbell. It's the secret ingredient that has been known to save many a dull track. And if anyone questions your artistic choices, simply remind them of the wise words of Bruce Dickinson (played by Christopher Walken on SNL): "I gotta have more cowbell!"
Closing Act
Remember, songwriting is about expressing your unique voice, not just following a recipe like you're baking a cake (although cake is always a good idea). So, wear your heart on your sleeve, embrace your quirks, and write the kind of songs that make people say, "Wow, I didn't know music could do that." And if all else fails, just remember: there's always room for more cowbell.
Happy writing, you future Grammy avoider, you!